I shouldnt be working so hard!

I should be enjoying myself shouldnt I?
I shouldnt be worrying about where the next dollar comes from and were I will be heading in a years time?
I was supposed to be looking at a comfortable, easy road to my last working years.
But that has gone belly up and now I am one of the rest of the mob in the colonies where we need to get out of our comfort zones and explore the unknown realms of running your own business.
I am looking forward to the high expectations that come with untapped potentiality of tomorrow - that how I need to view it "untapped potential" because in fact, that is what it is.
Each day can and will bring new opportunities I just have to look for them.
Would a secure job, easy work, comfort zone living be more appreciated as I head into my 54th year of life?
Yes.
But thats not what I have.
I have insecurity, hard work and am constantly pushing outside my comfort zone.
I strive to swallow my anxiety and push through even though I love what I do right now it still raises issues about my feelings of self worth, made especially more vulnerable by being at an age where I am no longer "young" and sexy.
So I am working hard, every day striving to anchor myself  - lets see how this goes.

Halloween is coming

I am a bit of a fan of Halloween and all of the kitchy stuff that goes with it. I love that even though it really isnt our festival and it is about summer going and winter coming which is back to front for the Colonies we still allow ourselves to enjoy the ghosty and ghouly night. I have always made sure that I have lollies for trick or treaters and this year I am holding my very own Halloween party complete with fancy dress. I am very much looking forward to it. Are you doing anything for Halloween?

Another year older but not much wiser!

Well there goes another year.
Now I am 54 and hell, when I was 18, I would have thought that 54 was close to death!
Now at 54 I am going, hell, I still have so much to see and do.
So health and happiness are the most important things.
I am over buying clothes, gadgets, things...which come and go, wear out and become obsolete.
Experiences are gold and if I had my choice I think I would travel and see the world, experience the world - eat bread, cheese, drink wine and relax in parks and gardens all over the world.
I would see the pyramids, climb the Eiffel Tower, see Yosemite and the Grand Canyon.
I would go to the Tower of London and visit Glencoe (of course) I would go to Marrakesh and my list goes on and on.
But at the moment these are just dreams and they may stay dreams but I remain postive that I can make some of these things happen.
I am alive and well and therefore anything is possible, even at 54!

Jealousy is a curse

But I have to say I am VERY jealous of a friend who is planning a trip to England and Scotland next year. I also wish that I could go but that is very unlikely now that hubby is not well and about to lose his job.
So I have to be content to listen to my friend tell me about her plans and trip details and seem extremely excited for her!
It s going to be hard, and I AM very happy for her but I would till love to make that trip at some stage myself.
I'll just keep hoping.